Friday 4 April 2014

Third day of living

That's what I call my days of sobriety.. Days of living. 
Day by day my body feels renewed, fresh and clean.
My mind starts to have deeper and deeper thoughts and my hopes grow as well as my fears.
My fears that these beautiful feelings will be taken away.
The worst thing is I will be the only one to destroy this happiness and take my own dreams away. 
I am afraid of myself. 

I think about how harshly I judge the crackheads in my neighborhood. When they come around my work they sicken me.
I'm not as bad as they are, but I can see how they may struggle. 
How they may sit just as I do wondering how their life got so out of hand, but then realizing if they're drunk and high they won't have to think these clear thoughts about how they've ruined their own lives. 

I still have a chance at this. 
Things I want to do in life :

-Contribute to animal and environmental charities
- become an exceptional strong artist
- complete marathons 
- be married and have a family 
- do vegan education
- travel
- place love into the world 
-so much more

Things I don't want to do

-spend any more years crying about nothing and drinking my good years away

Heal heal heal.

I need to give myself a chance at this. 


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