I think sometimes we get so comfortable in our relationships that we neglect to remember that no one is permanently stuck in our lives. I love my boyfriend. I love him more than I've ever loved any person in my life. He loves me too, which is why it's a wake up call when he says If I continue to be so unhappy all of the time he'll eventually leave. At the end of the day I can't blame him. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a drunk crying on the couch with tears and snot pouring down their face complaining about how they can't change? My boyfriend has one simple request.. That I just be happy with my life... And I can't even do that?
I'm depressed because I drink 24/7 which leads to any and all other problems in my life.
I drink because it feels like my identity, my only comfort, and I imagine people will think I'm boring and lame if I don't.
I already get people thinking I'm an alien for being vegan,
Who is going to want to spend a rocking Saturday night with the sober vegan? Parcheesi anyone?
No one is permanent. He could walk away at any moment. And he might.. Unless I get off of my pathetic ass and make this last longer than 4 fucking days
I think the one thing we never seem to think about when we do these destructive things to ourselves is how much they create even more problems. Not just the obvious problems. But problems in all other areas of our life - like relationships. I've said it before but I'll mention it again... I can't imagine what it's like to date me. I'm sure when I'm normal and happy things are fantastic. But often times I'm a depressed slug that cries constantly about how awful she feels but never does anything to change her life. Maybe we need to put ourselves in our significant others' shoes for a change.
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