But I had no idea. I always knew I drank too much... Even more than people who say they drink too much.. But in the past 16 days of sobriety I realized just clouded I've been.
I see others who are clouded now, and I feel for them.
I see people wake up miserable and exhausted. Bitterly shoving eachother down the street , feeling desperate before that first morning coffee they "need". I see people go to work unhappy and stuff their faces full of caffiene and aweful processed foods that make them feel even more miserable but they are so clouded by this "normal" routine they feel these feelings are just normal feelings because they are used to it. They finish their day, probably yell at some 15 year old working in retail and then head home to comfort themselves with more processed garbage washed down with an excess of booze to forget how much they wish they could change their lives... And end the evening with some self loathing while they stare at the ceiling in bed wondering how this ended up being life and dread the next day.
This doesn't have to be life. Because that is not living. No wonder people are dropping like flies at an early age.
When I'm tempted to drink I think of those miserable days... The days when I told myself I could never be happy and I cried and cried and hated my life.
Everyday i will fuel myself with love and health, pure foods, and I never want to drink again. I really hope this strength lasts
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