Day 3

Today is a lonely day. Alone again in my home with piles of alcohol. Haven't caved, but basically wallowing in the fact that I can't drink this weekend and wishing someone would spend some time with me tonight. Friends seem to be busy. I have zero motivation to do anything and it's taken until 4;30 to get my shit together and be ready for the day. A night of cleaning out my empty fish tank (seeing as there is no longer a fish in it) and eating salad awaits me. How exciting. Excuse the pessimism I just feel nothing but exhaustion, boredom and the weight of a thousand questions :

- why can't i drink like a normal person?

-if they say 90% of alcoholics relapse wtf is the point?

-will people even like me sober?

-do they even like me now?

not giving up. Just not the best day in the world